Vocabulary
Feelings and needs list
This is the feelings and needs list used in Reflexy: 36 feelings in four groups, each rated for intensity from 1 to 10, and 40 needs in seven groups. Use it in the app when you complete a Story, or read it here to find words for what you felt and what you needed.
- 36feelings
- 4feeling groups
- 1–10intensity
- 40needs
- 7need groups
How to use this list in a reflection
In Reflexy, feelings and needs are two steps of a Story. You record what happened, choose the feelings that fit and rate each one from 1 to 10, then pick the needs behind them. The same three steps work on paper: notice, name the feeling, find the need.
Notice what happened
Start with the moment itself: a conversation, a walk, a message you didn't expect. In Reflexy this is a Story — a date, a few words, maybe a photo. Keep it plain. The feelings come next.
Choose the feelings and rate each one
Pick every feeling that fits, not only the loudest one. Mixed feelings are normal. Then set an intensity from 1 to 10 for each. It starts at 5; move it up or down until it feels honest.
Pick the needs behind them
Ask what mattered underneath: rest, honesty, being understood, room to choose. Select the needs that were met or unmet. Naming the need is often what makes the feeling make sense.
36 feelings
Reflexy's 36 feelings sit in four groups: Joy, Sadness, Anger, and Fear. Joy holds the pleasant feelings; the other three groups are unpleasant. Each word comes with a short description of what it can feel like in the moment, written for this list. Pick the words that fit, then rate each one.
Joy
19 feelings
Pleasant| Feeling | What it can feel like |
|---|---|
| Amazed | Something is bigger, stranger, or more beautiful than you expected, and you can hardly take it in. |
| Comfortable | A calm sense that things are all right and you can let your shoulders drop. |
| Confident | A steady sense that you can handle what's in front of you, without needing to prove it. |
| Eager | You can hardly wait to begin — something is coming, and you're already leaning toward it. |
| Energetic | There's fuel in you — you feel awake and ready to move, and sitting still is hard. |
| Fulfilled | A deep, unhurried sense that something meaningful is complete, and that you have enough. |
| Glad | A simple, easy pleasure that something is the way it is — nothing dramatic, just good. |
| Grateful | A warm, settled sense of having received something good — from someone, or from the day itself. |
| Hopeful | A soft light on what's ahead: things could turn out well, and you find yourself reaching for that. |
| Inspired | Something you saw, heard, or read lit you up, and now you want to make or do something too. |
| Intrigued | Something has caught your attention, and you want to look closer and find out more. |
| Joyful | Bright, full, spilling-over happiness that is hard to keep to yourself. |
| Optimistic | A quiet expectation that things are likely to go well, even if you can't say exactly how. |
| Proud | A quiet standing-taller feeling about something you did, or about someone you care about. |
| Relieved | The tension lets go — something you were bracing for has passed or turned out all right. |
| Stimulated | Your mind is switched on and wants more — new input, new ideas, something to chew on. |
| Surprised | Something happened that you didn't see coming, and for a moment you're wide open to it. |
| Touched | Something small and kind reached you more deeply than you expected — maybe a lump in your throat. |
| Trusting | You can lean on someone or something without checking — you don't have to keep your guard up. |
Sadness
6 feelings
Unpleasant| Feeling | What it can feel like |
|---|---|
| Disappointed | Something you were counting on didn't happen, or didn't turn out the way you had hoped. |
| Helpless | Something matters to you and there's nothing you can do about it — your hands feel tied. |
| Hopeless | It feels as if nothing you do will change anything, and it's hard to picture things getting better. |
| Lonely | An ache for company or closeness that isn't there right now, even if people are around you. |
| Reluctant | You'd rather not — part of you is holding back from something you're expected to do. |
| Sad | A heaviness in your chest — something is lost or missing, and you feel it slowly. |
Anger
7 feelings
Unpleasant| Feeling | What it can feel like |
|---|---|
| Angry | Heat rising in you — something feels wrong or unfair, and you want to push back against it. |
| Annoyed | A small, nagging irritation — something keeps getting on your nerves and won't let up. |
| Confused | Things don't add up and you can't find your footing — you don't know what to make of it. |
| Discouraged | The effort no longer seems worth it — your energy for trying again has drained away. |
| Impatient | Waiting feels almost unbearable — you want it to happen now, not later. |
| Irritated | Your patience has worn thin, and small things are rubbing you the wrong way. |
| Uncomfortable | Something doesn't sit right — in your body, in the room, or in the situation — and you want to shift. |
Fear
4 feelings
Unpleasant| Feeling | What it can feel like |
|---|---|
| Concerned | Something on your mind — or someone you care about — has you watching and hoping it turns out okay. |
| Embarrassed | A hot flush of wanting to disappear after being seen in a way you didn't choose. |
| Nervous | A fluttery, on-edge feeling ahead of something uncertain — your body is on alert. |
| Puzzled | Something doesn't make sense yet, and you're turning it over, trying to work it out. |
40 needs
Reflexy's 40 needs are grouped into seven areas: Physical Well-Being, Connection, Autonomy, Meaning & Harmony, Play, Celebration & Mourning, and Integrity. A need is what mattered to you behind a feeling: the thing that was met, or missing. You choose the needs yourself; Reflexy never guesses them from your writing.
Physical Well-Being
10 needs
| Need | What it is about |
|---|---|
| Air | Having enough air and breathing freely — including moments to breathe out. |
| Food | Being fed — enough, and in a way that nourishes you rather than just filling you up. |
| Movement and exercise | Using your body — stretching, walking, working up a sweat — and feeling alive in your limbs. |
| Physical safety | Being free from physical danger, so your body can relax because nothing is about to hurt you. |
| Protection from harm | Being kept safe from what could hurt you, and knowing someone or something has your back. |
| Rest | Sleep, pauses, and time with nothing required of you, so your body and mind can catch up. |
| Sexual expression | Room for your sexuality to be lived and expressed in a way that feels right for you. |
| Shelter | A roof over your head and a place that is yours to come back to and close the door on the world. |
| Touch | Physical contact that feels good and safe — a hand held, a hug, an arm around you. |
| Water | Having enough clean water to drink, and the plain relief of not being thirsty. |
Connection
15 needs
| Need | What it is about |
|---|---|
| Acceptance | Being taken as you are, without having to earn it or edit yourself first. |
| Appreciation | Having what you do, and who you are, noticed and valued by the people around you. |
| Closeness | Being near someone in a way that feels intimate and warm, with the distance between you gone. |
| Community | Belonging somewhere — people you share something with, who notice when you're not there. |
| Consideration | Having your situation, feelings, and limits taken into account by the people around you. |
| Contributing to a richer life | Adding something to other people's lives, and knowing that what you give makes a difference. |
| Emotional safety | Being able to show what you feel without it being mocked, brushed aside, or used against you. |
| Empathy | Someone sensing what you're going through and staying with you in it, rather than rushing to fix it. |
| Honesty | Straight talk you can rely on — people telling you the truth, and room to tell yours. |
| Love | Loving and being loved — warmth that holds you, and that you can give back. |
| Reassurance | Hearing that things are all right, or will be, when you can't be sure on your own. |
| Respect | Being treated as someone whose views, boundaries, and dignity count. |
| Support | Not carrying things alone: having help, backing, or a hand to hold when you reach for one. |
| Trust | Being able to rely on people and on your world, and being trusted in return. |
| Understanding | Being understood — someone getting what you mean, and why it matters to you. |
Autonomy
2 needs
| Need | What it is about |
|---|---|
| Freedom to choose how to pursue your goals | Choosing your own way of getting there — your pace, your methods, your order of doing things. |
| Freedom to choose your dreams, goals, and values | Deciding for yourself what matters to you and where you want your life to go. |
Meaning & Harmony
5 needs
| Need | What it is about |
|---|---|
| Beauty | Having beauty around you — in nature, in objects, in small moments — and time to take it in. |
| Harmony | Things fitting together — with the people around you, with your surroundings, and within yourself. |
| Inspiration | Contact with what sparks you — ideas, people, places, or beauty that make you want to create. |
| Order | Enough structure and predictability around you that you know where things are and what comes next. |
| Peace | Inner quiet — a settled mind, time without conflict or noise, a chance to simply be. |
Play
2 needs
| Need | What it is about |
|---|---|
| Fun | Doing things simply because you enjoy them, with no goal beyond the pleasure of it. |
| Laughter | Lightness and a good laugh — moments when things stop being serious for a while. |
Celebration & Mourning
2 needs
| Need | What it is about |
|---|---|
| Celebrating life and fulfilled dreams | Marking what went well — a win, a milestone, a good day — instead of moving straight past it. |
| Mourning losses and unfulfilled dreams | Room to grieve what was lost or never came to be, and to feel it fully rather than skipping past it. |
Integrity
4 needs
| Need | What it is about |
|---|---|
| Authenticity | Being on the outside who you are on the inside, without playing a part to fit in. |
| Creativity | Making things, having ideas, and finding your own way of expressing what's in you. |
| Meaning | A sense that what you do matters and connects to something larger than the task in front of you. |
| Self-worth | Knowing your own value from the inside, not only when someone else confirms it. |
Feelings with intensity
In Reflexy every selected feeling gets its own intensity from 1 to 10. It starts at 5, and you move it up or down to match how strong the feeling was. A Story can hold several feelings at different strengths, so a mixed day stays mixed instead of collapsing into one mood.
Why 1 to 10
The same word can describe very different days. Annoyed at 2 after a slow queue is not Annoyed at 9 after a broken promise. The number keeps that difference in your journal. It is your own rating, not something Reflexy measures.
Why it starts at 5
The middle is a neutral starting point. Moving away from it is a small decision, and that decision is the reflection: was it really that strong, or milder than it seemed at first?
Several feelings per Story
One moment can be Relieved at 7 and Sad at 4 at the same time. Reflexy keeps every feeling you chose with its own rating, and Insights counts and charts them exactly as you set them.
Where this vocabulary comes from
The vocabulary is inspired by the feelings-and-needs approach of Nonviolent Communication, developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg. Reflexy is an independent app and is not affiliated with or endorsed by the Center for Nonviolent Communication. The descriptions on this page are Reflexy's own.
The words on this page are the ones you see in the app, translated into all nine languages Reflexy supports. The list is built in: you choose from these 36 feelings and 40 needs rather than adding your own, so entries stay comparable over time.
Not a diagnosis
This list is a vocabulary for journaling, not a clinical scale. Reflexy is not a medical device and does not provide diagnosis, treatment, therapy, or emergency assistance. The intensity you set is your own rating of a moment, not a score of your health. If something feels serious, talk to a doctor or a local emergency service.
Try naming a feeling today
Reflexy is free to download for iPhone and iPad. Record one Story, choose the feelings that fit, rate each one, and pick the needs behind them. No account is needed, and your journal stays on your device unless you choose a backup or export.
For iPhone and iPad · Requires iOS 17 or later